I don't want to do this...

So here's the thing.

I'm looking at eT's Slightly Intrepid blog, and I see he's posted one of those "answer a bunch of questions" things. And, horror of horrors, he's tagged me to do it next. Now, I hate these things, and normally when someone emails me one of these things, I just ignore it. But this time the challenge is out there, in public, on the internet, for everyone to see. So I feel that I really do have to respond.

So here it goes...


What were you doing ten years ago?

I was halfway thought my third year of university, having just completed my final paper for my commerce degree, and with 1½ years to go on the law degree. Since we're talking about early July 1998, I suspect I was probably in Wanganui at the time, since it was would have been university holidays.


Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world:

- Rocky Road icecream (strawberry or caramel, I'm not picky)

- Cadbury's Black Forest Chocolate

- Roast Chicken, Lemon, and Thyme chips (I forget the names of the people who make these, but they are good)

- Donuts (why is it so hard to find donuts anywhere in Wellington? I'll help eT open a Wendy's in Wellington, if he'll help me open a Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme)

- Mrs Higgins Raspberry and White Chocolate cookies


Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:

A few years ago, I know what my answer would have been - invest in movie versions of the Narnia books. But since they're being made now, that option is a bit pointless (although if the series ends before they film all seven books, as they probably will, I would invest in any unmade films).

I know I should use the money to do things for the benefit of all mankind, spreading the Gospel, etc, but if I'm honest with myself, it would probably be more along the lines of:

- Get a great home theatre setup - colossal screen, earth-shaking sound system, that type of thing.

- Buy a Porsche 911 (I'm not a car person at all, but after watching Top Gear for a while, I'm starting to realise the Porsche 911 is a beautiful car.

- Travel - particularly the UK, Europe, China, and I'd quite like to visit Israel as well. Plus I would keep going back to Disneyland again and again, just because it's Disneyland.

- You know how Daniel Plainview had his own bowling alley at the end of There Will Be Blood? My own bowling alley would be quite fun, only without the corpse lying across the lane.

- Carry on working (I hope), just because I think the idea of never working again actually sounds rather awful.


Three of my habits:

- Setting both my alarm clock and cellphone alarm for 7.00am, getting up, hitting snooze on both, getting up at 7.06am to hit snooze on my cellphone, getting up at 7.09am to hit snooze on my alarm clock, getting up at 7.12am to hit snooze on my cellphone, getting up at 7.18am to hit snooze on both my cellphone and my alarm, getting up at 7.24am to hit snooze on my cellphone, getting up at 7.27am to hit snooze on my alarm clock, getting up at 7.30am to hit snooze on my cellphone, getting up at 7.36am to hit snooze on both my cellphone and my alarm, getting up at 7.42am to hit snooze on my cellphone, getting up at 7.45am to hit snooze on my alarm clock, getting up at 7.48am when my cellphone goes off again, turning my cellphone off, finally up and ready for the day. Then having a shower, getting out to realise my alarm clock is still going since I last hit snooze on that one and forgot to turn it off. By which point I'm usually running late and end up having to run to catch the train. I hate mornings.

- Forgetting stuff. Lots of stuff. It's a rare conversation where I actually manage to make it through an entire conversation without at some point forgetting mid-sentence what I was saying, and usually even the whole topic of conversation. If I'm like this now, with a youthful alert mind, I hate to think what I'll be like when I'm old and senile.

- Telling a very long, complicated, and detailed story, only to realise at the end of the story that it was actually pretty boring and not much actually happened and if I'm bored by the story I'm telling how boring must it be to the person I just inflicted it on.


Five jobs that I have had:

Ignoring my current job, here is my entire work history

- Delivering Avon pamphlets every three weeks for my aunt.

- Woolworths checkout operator for six years.

- Health Benefits three times during university holidays - mostly data entry, prescription processing, and in my last year, warehouse worker (I was working in a building that stored every prescription written in New Zealand in the previous two years - they would send me a list of specific prescriptions they wanted, and I would have to find them)

- Some plastics factory - I can't even remember the name of the place, but we would make shoe soles and Kiwi Cricket tees. I was no good at the job, and was fired after two weeks - they said it was because one of their major purchasers had closed down, so they didn't have any work for me any more, but I never believed them, because I know how bad I was at the job.

- Six weeks as a painter at a (now closed-down) saw mill. The mill had been operating in the US, dismantled, shipped, and rebuilt in Wanganui by the owners. It was my job to paint all the machinery. Very hard job, long hours (11 hours a day, starting at 6.30am (I can't believe I did that?), plus a half-day on Saturday), all for minimum wage. Plus the guy I had to work with was the most unpleasant, ignorant, and stupid person I have ever met (I particularly remember one argument we had where he argued the time on his watch was more accurate because he used hs neighbour's sundial(!) to set the time.) Plus, he was extraordinarily lazy - I remember he used to take pride in managing to keep his overalls clean. And there's only one way a painter can not get paint on himself, and that's by not painting. I was very glad when the university year started again and I could leave, never having to see him again.


Five things to do today:

- Write these bloody reports (not very exciting, but it's what I need to do)

- Rewatch the Doctor Who finale, this time with the MP3 commentary track

- Do some more work on my Funny Games post - since I've already mentioned I'm writing it, I'm committed to actually finishing it, although it's a hard post to write since I just start getting angry every time I work on it.

- Yawn a lot, complain how I'm not getting enough sleep, then stay up until midnight playing Lego Star Wars because I'm still young and don't need to go to bed earlier. (This, incidently, also gives rise to one of my habits.)

- Feel extremely envious at eT for getting to go to a garden party at Buckingham Palace.


Five people I want to get to know more about:

- Terry Gilliam (Monty Python animator and great film director)

- Joel and Ethan Coen (it's very nice to be able to describe them as Oscar-winning directors)

- Tom Baker (the Fourth Doctor, Little Britain narrator, and an entertaining storyteller)

- Ira Glass (host of the This American Life radio show)

- Edgar Wright (writer/director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz)


People to tag:

No-one - since I really do hate these things, I don't want to try to oblige anyone else to answer it. But if anyone reads this post and decides to do their own list, feel free to do so and post a comment pointing to it.


There we are. How did I do?