So here's the thing.
That was a depressing (and depressingly incoherent) post. So, to lighten things up, I'll put up a link to something that amused me recently.
A German company is making what they call a "Cheeseburger in a can". It's apparently intended for people who want to eat a cheeseburger while out camping. You boil the can, open it, and tip the cheeseburger out.
And it seems it may be the most revolting food product ever made. The staff at the AV Club, as part of a continuing "Taste Test" series tried one of these things and posted their thoughts, complete with photos and videos, here. It's very funny, but every time I think about the cheeseburger-in-a-can itself, I just feel ill.